Happy New Year!

Happy 2011. It's a new year. I had so much enthusiasm and positive feelings for the future. Mostly for the business end of my life. All the little ideas I've had going through my head these last couple of months, I've actually held back so I could implement them for the new year. Well, the new year has come and I think I exhorted the whole years worth of energy into the first day. Unfortunately, that fell on a Saturday, so nothing really got accomplished! Now I look at the whole rest of the year ahead and it makes me a little tired. I know a person, who, on New Years day, takes the day to contemplate the exhausted year, and inventories whether or not he is still basically on track for his life journey. He does not make resolutions for the new year, but instead, he makes 5, 10, and 20 year life goals. He puts all of this into a journal along with thoughts, ideas, and clippings from whatever source he finds that inspire him, or helps him stay on track. New Year day is when he has the time off to go through his journal and tweak it here and there. It's a great idea. He has been quite an accomplished person. I say has, because his empire took a bit of a tumble, which had nothing to do with the point I was making. It certainly wasn't in the journal to go bankrupt. I don't do resolutions well. I should give them up. I should quit wasting my time with them. They almost always involved dieting, exercising and a scale. They always fail within a couple of weeks, and I pick the goal back up later on the year when I do it more for myself than for a date on the calendar. Which, by the way, I am successful every time. Later in the year, I put all the weight back on, so I will have something else to work towards for the next year, which I am also 100% successful. Two years ago, in my attempt to be more "zen", my resolution involved making an effort to watch either the sun rise or set every single day. Yeah, okay, ha ha. It really only lasted less than a week. When the sun rises after 7:00 am and sets before 5:00 pm, there's not always the chance to even try, then throw in the "I really don't care like I thought I would" attitude, and there you have it. Failure. Seriously, this year, I will keep it simple. Treat others with more respect and kindness. And maybe I should have another one; to learn how to run my business once and for all, just so I can still feel good about not accomplishing something.

Happy Holidays!

Man, this is such a busy time of year. I know this because as I was going through the fridge to find something to cook up for dinner, I only found half a case of cream cheese that I bought 2 weeks ago, a couple of containers of really bad cottage cheese, something wrapped up in foil that might have been cake or meat, cream that was supposed to be whipped up for Thanksgiving, and a gallon of eggnog. Besides a couple of condiments that should have been thrown away a year ago, that's all that was in the fridge. I keep a huge bowl of fruit on the kitchen table with hope that my family will try to eat better. Another reason I know I have been busy is because I discovered today, that only the tops of the fruit looked okay, but all of it underneath had turned to mushy juice . Plus, the only thing left in the cabinet is garbanzo beans and refried beans. Seems like no groceries have been purchased in awhile. Since my three boys decided they would rather have something other than beans and eggnog for dinner, they have gone away in search of a meal. I should dump the bowl of liquid fruit, but, I have decided I will write instead. I'm going to write about Christmas although I'm not really "feeling" it this year. It's too bad for my family, since I normally really love this time of year! I do love dragging out the old traditions that I grew up with, and I love the newer traditions that we have started with our own little (yet, tall) family. Since my mom is German, we, kids, celebrated the German traditions, and I have made sure my own boys know about some of the fun traditions that I had growing up. Every year on December 6th, German children put their shoes out on the porch. We would go out later to find that Sinterklaus had been by and filled our shoes with either a "switch" if we were bad, or candy and toys, if we were good. I remember getting a switch once in my shoes, but I don't remember getting beat with it. My own kids still put out their shoes, and it's amazing to know what feats Sinterklaus goes to, in order to fill their shoes without being seen! This has included hiking up a nice, steep, sagebrush covered hill in, order to leave the car at the very bottom of a long driveway, sneaking around the house in mud, crawling on big, round belly that shakes like a bowlful of jelly, to avoid being seen in the windows, being SO quiet so the wrappers don't rustle too loudly, and being stalked by.... a 15 year old son with a BB gun who's bound and determined to catch this "so called Sinterklaus"! Things now, are a little different than they were just a couple of years ago. There's not so much sneaking anymore (whew!), but the anticipation is still there, just the same. In fact, my 13 year old remembered all on his own this year that the shoes were to be set out. As he took his and his brother's shoes out, he was kind of chuckling to himself that Sinterklaus had probably forgotten this year, since I hadn't even mentioned it once that whole day, directing his "what kind of mom are you?" attitude towards me. I told him to go and check his shoes and see. They had only been out for less than 5 minutes, and both Craig and I had stayed right in the kitchen the entire time. He knows how it works. I urged him to go on out and take a look. He did, and what do you know, right there, kind of in the shadow, were their other shoes, filled to the brim with German goodies, like lebkuchen, and other assorted German cookies and chocolates. (How DID that work, then?) In fact, a little later, some brandy filled chocolates, also a common German chocolate, found their way into my hands. Man, that Sinterklaus really knows what kinds of goodies to get a person.

Growing up, we had traditional stockings hung by the fireplace, but a German tradition that I have incorporated at my house a couple of times, is to let St. Nick bring "bundt tellers", instead of filling stockings. They are plates filled with nuts, oranges and candy. Also, we have always, up until a couple of years ago, had advent calendars for the boys, always a gift from my mom, This was a big tradition for me growing up. I remember, as a child, opening the little doors and windows to a huge advent calendar that my Oma had made. It was in the shape of a house, and painted gold. It was around for years until it fell apart. I also grew up with an advent wreath. Four Sundays before Christmas day, a candle was lit on the wreath, which sits horizontal on a stand. The first week, one candle was lit, and so on, until the fourth Sunday, all four candles were lit. Christmas carols were sung while the candles burned. I only get the advent wreath out every few years with my family. Another tradition I had growing up, due to my dad, was oyster stew for Christmas Eve dinner. I do not miss a year with this tradition, as my boys, even since they were little, insist that we have "mouse soup" for Christmas Eve. The two new traditions that I love for entirely selfish reasons, have been started by Craig and they are for me. Christmas morning, after all the chaos, I happen to find something small, and precious on my kitchen windowsill. The first year was a set of three, tiny, porcelain skunks. It's always something small, vintage, and totally based on cuteness. The second tradition comes later, when I take the tree down, sometime between Jan 1st, and as late as the middle of February. (It's been known to happen.) Hidden somewhere amongst the pine boughs, is another little treasure that he has found in an antique store. It has usually been some type of vintage jewelry, a necklace, or pin. It's the traditions that make me giddy with anticipation for any holiday or annual event. Writing this entry and remembering traditions has put me in the Christmas spirit more than anything else has this year. In fact, instead of dumping the fruit, I may just see how fermented it is, strain it, and serve it up in the eggnog. This is the season for sharing and loving. I can't end this blog without saying "Froeliche Weinachten" and letting all my family and friends know that I wish you all to have the most joyous season! Know that you are loved and and appreciated, and after the eggnog and brandy chocolates, know that I will love and appreciate you all, even more.

Thanks For The Memories

Well, it has come to an end. My instructing at American Beauty Academy. I will miss it, and the students, and the staff. It is a part of my life that I am very grateful for. Only recently, had the stress of having two jobs finally caught up. This past summer I announced that I was letting this job go. My last day was 2 weeks ago. My stress is gone. It's amazing, the power of attraction. The moment I am ready to simplify my life in earnest, and I am flooded from various sources on wonderful ways to simplify my life. It's a very nice transition from a busy, stressful piece of my life, to quite the opposite, if I embrace it. I had only put in about 16 hours a week at the school, and I have asked myself what to do with the extra time I now have. But the "hole" of free time has filled right to the brim. There are different directions I have thought about taking, but I've decided, for now, that it's kind of fun to not make any decisions, but simply observe what's out there to be had. Since quitting, I have a renewed focus on the day spa, which was really important, and my first priority. I am continuing to becoming a certified Master Herbalist, and I am well underway of developing a new small bath and body line. (Yahoo!) Stay tuned for the launch.

So, to Brooke, and the rest of the staff, I love you guys, and will miss working with you, and I will stay in touch. To the students, I love and miss all of you, too, and an advanced waxing class is right around the corner for those who have asked. I will miss the naughty room. I will always remember noticing the beautiful sunset as I was spraying the puke off the front entrance. I will remember almost puking myself, when I told that kid with the mouthful of chew, and his soda can clear full of spit to go dump it before he got his hair cut. I will always have memories of hanging used wax strips from some guys chest wax to the back wall with "can you guess where this is from?" I will miss teaching my favorite subjects. Thank you to (almost) everyone who has been a part of this (almost) 4 year ride. I loved (almost) every minute of it!

We May be Backwards, but we Know Where We're Going. ...

So, Kaler told me the the other day that he would like a mullett. In the front, though. "Party in the front, business in the back", he said. He is a true redneck through and through, and is proud to be one. My son Jance pines to live in a trailer. That's all he wants. His own trailer. You should see the trailers he's been looking at on KSL. (No, we're not going to oblige him.) The trailer he wanted more than anything was painted solid red with a huge white "U" on it. Only $500 and surely no one would see it going down the road to get here. I overheard Craig telling the boys last night that at one time, he had a job that involved "pre-skidmarking new underwear for the marketplace", and he was the best in his division. He's told the kids since they were little about the jobs he used to have. For instance, long, long ago, he made dirt for a living, and mentioned what tough work it was to grind up rocks into dirt, for back then, we had no dirt. He also made cat trails back in the day, so the cats would know how to get through the fields, ... etc.

I haven't really written a lot about my family. It's true, my family is a freakshow. They know it. Of course I love them. They know that as well. If you lived at our house, you would hear remarks that would surely shock you, but go unnoticed by us. Last weekend we took our freakshow out in public. We all got ready for the day, as usual. It was cold so I put on my son's long sleeve flannel shirt and his socks for warmth. I pulled a winter stocking hat, also my son's, on my uncombed hair and started working around the house. Somewhere along the day, we ended up in the car. If I had realized we were actually going somewhere in public, I would have put my own clothes on. We ended up in the Orem mall. Yes, we did get looks, between the 3 buckaroo dressed cowboys, and the mom who dressed like a sloppy little boy, we did get looks. I mean we were in top notch trailer mode. Jance did get embarrassed when I pulled my pant legs up to adjust my socks, which had turned completely around and the heel was on the top of my foot, right in the food court. Did I mention, they were my son's and way to big?

Now why am I writing this? Most families hide this sort of thing. Is it because I'm past the point of desperate to put a blog out there, even to put my own family on the chopping block? No, it's because I want you to know, you no longer have to laugh at us behind our backs. We know who we are, and it's who we are. You may snicker right in front of us, but just know, to us, it's already old news. We laugh at ourselves more than anyone else possibly could. We are a good time had by all. We're the best time we've ever had. Our thighs hurt from slapping them too much during long bouts of breathless laughter, not to mention how our sides ache.

So let me explain the photo above; I am not a fan of "the Christmas letter". Last year, as a way to laugh at the Christmas letter, we decided to do a picture that says all, of everything we accomplished during the year 2009, namely a lot of bike riding, shooting, sculpting and makeup. And we didn't have to write a single word. Only immediate family got this picture, but due to my generous nature, I decided to share it with the world. This will truly give you a sense of who we are.

Thank you friends and family for accepting us for who we are. Unless you don't anymore after reading this.

Hallowed Eve Repast

I love Halloween so much, you don't even know! I have been such a busy witch (that's with a "W", mind you) getting my potions ready, and my poisons concocted.

I got all the treats wrapped up and got ready for the little Trick or Treaters. I had about 35 little monsters, and their big parents, come to my house this year. At one point, I had 25 people in my little teeny house as two big groups came at once. I believe there was a scuffle in my driveway when they left, because Kaler went out the next morning and found where someone accidentally lost about half of their loot, probably trying to climb back in the car, but, alas, no little children were left behind, much to my dismay. Last year I purchased a cauldron big enough for two small children (hee, hee, hee!) but never got a chance to use it.

The following day, and for the second time in 5 years, I threw my annual Halloween dinner party. I know, having it only twice in five years doesn't make it annual, but it just is. I chose my colors carefully, light luminous green and black. How elegant, you say, as did I. It's too darn bad that I couldn't find hardly anything in those colors to decorate with. I banned the color orange this year. (You are still my favorite color, orange, and I still love you!)

Well, parties are pretty much all about the food. Craig and I both like grown-up creepy food, now that we are, indeed, grown up.

So, my menu included a roasted fleshworm, giant bat legs, warm bloodroot in a light, buttery orange sauce, garlic mashed potatoes (well, we needed some normalcy) and several varieties of crusty breads served with rotting spread. Okay, the cauldron was brewing up root beer, not children. I served it all up in my collection of creepy antique dishes. Here is a picture of Craig. He was our bread butler.

There was a dessert buffet for when the food began to decompose in our stomachs. I know the picture doesn't show it, but there were a lot of desserts. It does show, however, the giant onion my mother gave to me as a gift. Thank you, mom. Your the best. Who else gets giant onions for their dessert table from their moms.

No one but the nephews dressed up. All the adults were smarter than I was. I think next year I will take the hint as I singed the veil on my hat twice when I got too near the candles. The picture below is my sister Ursula's family, with appropriate 'cheesiness'.

I couldn't help it. Daegan looked so evil with the "red eye", I just had to post it.

The next picture is of my dad, my sister Melissa, and my mom.

This next photo is of Melissa and my sister, Carma. There is not a soul in my family who does not cheese it up for photos.

So, Halloween is over, as much as I love it, I'm happy to put the graveyard away, the skeleton away, the family away (kidding Craig). I had the greatest time! I wish all my sisters could have been there. For all you ghost chasers out there, in the picture below there are loads of orbs. It shows up much better in the full size photo, but they are there. I think it's just gas.

I am not the only one who's tired. This dude had a massive hangover the next day.

I hope everyone had the greatest Halloween.

Does Anyone Know of a Good Voodoo Shop, Around Here?

I had a delightfully creepy day today. Amongst the goings-ons of my busy day, in fact, right during a lovely purple manicure I was giving to one of my older lady clients, a rap, rap, rapping came upon my door. Actually, it was the mail lady, and she just let herself in. She specifically asked for me, and I noticed right away about how unusual the package she was clutching, was. I signed my name to some form, then she handed me the package, turning it as she did, so that I now could see the front. I said "thank you" and being so engrossed in the package, didn't even notice that she left. At looking at the package, I wondered why the florist hadn't brought it instead, as it had no address, no return address, nor stamp.

I was giddy, I know that, but also, just a bit nervous. Remembering my client, I brought it in straightaway, and showed it to her. I immediately started to unwrap this peculiar package so as to satisfy the curiosity of both myself and my client of what lay within. The writing on the package was none as I had ever seen before, and further peaked my curiosity. This package had a distinct but unrecognizable aroma about it, not offensive, but dark, smoky, and frankly, "voodoo-like", not that I've been in any kind of voodoo store to smell. The smell filled the room. As I unwrapped the paper, there was a tied box with another label. The word "exhorter" is on the front.

I have not had time to look up these Latin (?) words to see their meaning. I untied the box and as I lifted the lid, shock, unease, yet, pure delight enveloped me. My client awaited as I lifted the thing, the thing, which lay on a folded sheet of wool, or felt of some sort.

I really am not sure what this is. It is definitely a foot with claws from some sort of animal, that I'm sure a Halloween witch, such as myself, must surely feel the need to possess, for here it is in my possession.

So, I'm now a little creeped out by it, as there is no indication from whom it came. But, it is perfect, in the twisted way that I prefer the Hallowed Eve to be. I know exactly what I will do with it, it will lay across my spellbook, open to the page of "How to Procure an Alligators Foot for a Powerful Wand", for what else would it be used for than to conjure up a spell? If a raven alights on the tree outside my bedroom window tonight, I WILL JUST FREAK RIGHT OUT!

Flood of 2009, Duct Tape Syndrome, and Little Chinaman

I had such a busy weekend redoing my floor. I will blog about my floor in due time, but first let me preface the reason the floor needed redoing.

So anyways, a year ago last June, we got a phone call from Kaler, my oldest son, to get home right away because water was coming into the house. It was raining and it was coming down pretty hard. We learned later that it rained 2 inches in one hour. We figured there would be water seeping under our sliding doors. Well, when we arrived about 20 minutes later, the water level was about a foot deep around the outside of our house. Most of my pictures are taken after the water had receded.

All the junk in this photo started out behind our house. (I'm going to say, neatly stacked up.)

Kaler and Jance, my two boys, and their friend were all furiously trying to dig a ditch to guide the water away from the house. The whole while, it was raining buckets! They had dams built the best they could, bless their hearts! They said they saw a cat floating by in the river of fast moving water. They took this picture of the poor kitty after she made it ashore.

We walked down the steps to the house. Holy Crap! We even said it aloud. I opened the door and found about 7 inches of water and mud inside our house, wall to wall. We had to wait for the water outside to recede before the water in the house would drain out. This picture was after most of the water had drained, and most of the rest of it was thick mud.

We live in a tiny, single level house. There wasn't a single inch of dry floor inside our entire house. We live on a hill, a pretty big one, but my neighbor who pulled out all of his orchard and plowed and tilled all those acres into nice, fluffy soil, to plant alfalfa, lives just a bit higher than us. So, when the rain came down that hard, all of his fluffy topsoil came barreling down into our yard and into the house. Neither the insurance or the neighbor took any responsibility for any of the cost to clean it up.

There was nothing we could do with the carpeting, so we put our efforts into cleaning up the kitchen. After we got the water out, there was about an inch and a half of mud across the whole floor. We would fill a dustpan with heavy mud with each pass. We had that floor completely cleaned up including getting mud out of all the nooks and crannies. As we were deciding what to do about all the furniture and other stuff that was getting ruined, it started to rain again, and the water and mud came in again, and all of our efforts were for nothing. I said a couple of bad words. We re-cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. At this point it was after 10:00 and I went to bed. Our blankets hung down to the floor and absorbed muddy water. Can you imagine getting in bed with cold, wet muddy edges of your blankets, then getting out of bed in the morning to step on wet, muddy carpeting? Our neighbor, the one who lost all his topsoil to our house, had his workers come and dig a canal through our little backyard orchard taking out 4 of our fruit trees, because, once again, it was supposed to rain hard, and rain it did. The canal seemed to work.

So, all of our belongings had to go into storage. They've been there for over a year. Since the house was empty, we decided to renovate the interior of the house at such an opportune time. Unfortunately, Craig has been busy meeting deadlines and hasn't been able to put much time into the house. We've been living with what I call 'duct tape syndrome', meaning, if we can live in this condition for a week, then I'll bet we'll survive a month, six months, a year, etc. So here we are one year and four months later, and I finally have a floor I can write about, but I won't. Yet.

This is my favorite picture to come from the flood.

This little Chinaman washed up after the first big dumping. It's actually Kaler's friend who stayed out in the rain getting soaking wet, helping us build dams and guide water the entire time. He was able to push his boat (sled that he had found floating in the water) around the entire lawn. He is sitting on a bucket that he also found floating in the water.