Facebook: Friend, Foe or Forget About It?

As a lot of you know, pretty much my whole social life after work is what comes up on Facebook. I have loved getting to know my friends, family and students further. It‘s been interesting to find out what they’re really like, beyond the boundaries of where I know them from, and the same can be said about me, I’m sure. There are at least a dozen and a half cousins, that I have reconnected with because of Facebook. For this, I have loved Facebook. But I feel like there has been a lot of tension between me and Facebook lately.

In the last couple of months, there has been a lot of stress in and around my life, not necessarily all mine, (until I take it on) and a lot of the stress is being “had out” on Facebook. I see angry conflicts settled, or actually, not settled. There is privacy demanded while posting publicly the whole time. There are things posted that I’m not sure if they are meant to be funny or abrasive, as is, or “read between the lines” and all are leaving me….confused? Frankly, I’m starting to have a hard time reading it anymore. I’m tired of getting caught up in it. I agree in every way that Facebook belongs to the people who post, including me, and they can post anything they darn well want. It is everyone’s right to stand up for what they believe in, don’t believe in, how they feel, what their kids are doing, etc. I’ve done it right along with everyone. Because this is a social outlet for me, I let myself willingly get trapped in it, and I truly mean a trap. It’s no secret, I like living in La La Land, I’ve already admitted that out loud, and until recently, I could have lived my whole life just within the cozy little walls of Facebook with my friends. But when I can step back and look at the whole picture, I can see the toll it’s taking on me. Even though, I try not to take offense, try not to let myself get my feelings hurt, try not to get caught up in the anger, obviously, I do, or I would not be writing this. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some wonderful friends who always have a positive, uplifting, feel good thing to say on Facebook, and they‘re never negative or condescending.

I think pulling the plug on Facebook would relieve all of this tension, but it’s like saying “See ya' later, friends, I’ll probably never see any of you again“ and it makes my heart roll up into a sad little ball causing me a different kind of stress. I can’t imagine losing contact with all the students I’ve taught over the last 4 years, which, in fact, I would be completely disconnected from them. I know that I would still see my friends and clients, eventually, but it’s different on Facebook. As far as family goes, I don’t have much contact with my immediate family on Facebook like I thought I would, it seems like they have all kind of pulled back as well.

I don’t understand being a friend collector. I have a lot of friends who never comment, ever. There is nothing wrong with this, but since they are only a picture in my friend pile with no communication at all, then what’s the point? Also, if I have friends on Facebook who I don’t really have anything to do with on or off Facebook, or in “real life”, at this time in my life, then again, what’s the point? If I have friends on Facebook who do comment, but their comments constantly bring my day down, whether or not they intend to, it's kind of like coming back to be beat in the head with a stick again, and again. Definitely don’t need that. Maybe I just feel let down by it because it was so fun at the beginning. The honeymoon's over.

So what to do? Am I just being sensitive? Do I delete everyone, start over and be more choosy? That’s feels rude and makes me sad. Do I hide some people so as not to offend them? Maybe, but really? Should I just delete my whole account and be done with it? Maybe I should just look away. Until I decide what to do with Facebook, I know there needs to be a change. My attitude has started to change towards it. It no longer feels like my vacation spot, no longer feels like my little oasis in a crazy, busy life, no longer feels like my respite, and the "golden calf" is no longer getting my praise.