Has Anyone Seen My Landing Strip?

Ah, the old "has anyone seen my landing strip" line. I'm kidding! I don't have a landing strip? Where would I keep it? But this is a good time to bring up Brazilian waxing, right? After all, it's what I do in my job. It's a bold and interesting subject which can go in many directions, including wrong. I have many waxing stories, but on this blog I have decided to make it more of a Q&A entry, for those who have Q and want A. I will try to keep this subject gentle and try not to cross the line. It's one of those those things that maybe I should have kept my wide mouth blog shut.

Q: Does it hurt?

A: I doubt it. About 100-150 hairs are being ripped out of the follicles per strip. Depending on how bare you want to go, there are anywhere from 6-30+ strips used during a wax. You do the math, because I don't want to. Of course it hurts!! I honestly don't know why this question gets asked, but it's the #1 question that I hear besides price.

Q: Have I ever had a dirty, stinky client ever come in?

A: I want to say the answer is no. Women are way too self conscious. No woman is going to have her cookie waxed without totally cleaning up first. I did have a woman come in straight from camping for 2 days once, though. Enough said. I can also tell you about a client who surprised me when she came in to get her precious lady parts waxed. She was about 5'2" and weighed maybe 340 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging her! In fact, she was one of my most enjoyable clients and I always looked forward to chatting with her when she came in. She had to pick up her whole belly and move it out of the way for me. Have you ever smelled mildew on a person? She was clean, but she had mildew.

Q: Do we laugh during the entire process?

A: Yeah, we have to, for the client's sake. Otherwise, they would die of embarrassment with some of those positions they need to get in to, as seen below.

Q: Do I wax men?

A: Nope, never wanted to, but I'm never saying never. The man in the image above can totally take care of that himself if he so desired. I did have an older man come into the spa about a year ago. He was a rancher or farmer, I think, he dressed like one, anyway. He was wearing a light straw cowboy hat, a button down, long sleeve cowboy shirt, Levis, and worn cowboy boots. Maybe he was a truck driver. He was in his early 70's. He had grey-white hair and a paunch. I asked him what I could help him with, and he asked me if I did Brazilians. I immediately answered "yes". Then mostly on accident, I blurted out "on you?" He said yes, and I'm not exaggerating when my mouth dropped open. I gathered up my wits, and informed him I did not do male Brazilians, also known as manzililans. He seemed a little frustrated, like he'd been looking for years for someone around here to do that. Look, I don't care what anyone does with their treasured bits and pieces, but it did make me wonder how does a 70 year old man even know what that is, let alone want that done. Later that day, as I was telling Craig about all my wonderful stories of my day, he said he'd heard of an older cowboy that was in this area,who was gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and did gay rodeos, and maybe that was him. How would Craig know this? I DID do a partial Brazilian on a male, but I don't dare print that story.

Q: What is a "landing strip"?

A: The answer is self explanatory. It is a strip of hair that varies in width and length according to what the client wants and planes land there. There is also the "postage stamp" self adhesive, I'm sure. There are also shapes you can get such as "heart", just in case yours is in the wrong place, "four-leaf clover", you "lucky" son of a gun, "downward arrow" in case you forget where your Brazilian is, "money sign" hmmm.... (they're not charging to see it, are they?) What do I do the most of, you ask? Full Monty, all hair gone.

Well, there you go, maybe too much info, maybe not enough. I would have written more as I am not shy, however, I think this forum is. If anyone thinks I have crossed the line here, please let me know. I have much more to blog about on this topic, but don't want the blog police to come and take out the legs.